When I look back at the person I was two years ago, I don't recognize her. Sure, she has the same maniacal laugh, the same self-deprecating humor, the same squinty-eyed smile... But she doesn't have joy, at least not really. She is seeking to find someone to be pleased with her, searching for something to offer God that will make a mark on the earth. She just wants more. Of what, she doesn't really know, but perhaps, she thinks, Jesus is the way after all.
The past three months have been the most incredible and difficult months of my life. I have wrestled with God, coming back to the States, adjusting to going back to school when all I really want to do is write music and make art, loving people out of the overflow of my heart like I know is needed, and pressing into the places I haven't been while I rest in the arms of home. It's been interesting.
But He has overtaken my life in a way that I cannot fully explain. I can't tell you the moment it happened, because I think it's been a slow yearning that welled up in me from the day I was born, but the love that I always wanted, the purpose of life that I thought wouldn't ever come to fruition, the joy that I never knew could be tasted on the earth... I have found all of it and everlastingly more... For in Jesus lies all the riches of eternity, and I have been consumed by His power and love. There is no returning to a time when I had no hope, there is no such thing as having no song, for HE is my song and will be forever.
This weekend I feel another shift coming for many hearts in people I have long known are asking for more from God. I pray His song comes and the eyes of people's hearts are opened to see Him and hear the melody that flows from His heart.
I pray you ask so that you may receive from Him.
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